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A wedding invitation can be a single card with basic details on it or several cards including accommodation information, a menu, and a map. It’s a personal choice and there are many ways of sharing information. You want to make it easy for your guests and avoid stress on the day so the more you think about it in advance, the better.

There is no set etiquette for invitations and the information you should include so here is a list of 21 points to consider.

 

To recap, as an absolute minimum, you need the following:

1. Your names – how formal do you wish to be? Are you using full names or just first names? Is it together with your parents or just you inviting the guests?

 

2. Your Guests’ Names – write each person’s name so that it’s clear exactly who is invited

 

3. The Date – do include the year! Amazingly, it’s not always obvious.

 

4. The Time(s) – decide whether to use am/pm or the 24-hr format. 12:00 is not midnight! 8.30 could be in the morning or evening. You’d be surprised how many people get it wrong. To avoid confusion, check the correct way to write out times and be clear.

 

5. The Venue(s): Some ceremonies and receptions take place in the same building; others are in totally separate locations. Ensure you provide details of arrival times as well as directions to each venue from the church to the wedding breakfast and the evening reception if there is one.

 

6. RSVP Information: There will always be those guests that don’t reply. You need to have a clear cut-off date in your mind of when you need your replies by. This is usually dictated by the caterers and/or venue. Allow extra time to follow up on guests or invite new ones to make up numbers if there are too many unable to attend.

Make it as easy as possible to reply. Consider whether you’re going to be strict and say ‘no reply, no attendance’ or whether you’re going to go to the effort of following up. You could opt for a simple RSVP card with tick boxes. Ask about dietary requirements and allergies. Are you going to give food options? You could consider an SAE (stamped addressed envelope) to return the RSVP in. Or perhaps you’re going for the text/email reply instead? Always give them a date to respond by.

 

Other details to consider are:

7. Wedding Website: If you have a website, include it. It’s a great way to pass on all sorts of information. The huge advantage is that you can update it any time. However, not all guests are computer literate so it’s always wise to at least start with a printed invitation with all of the most important details listed. You could consider pointing to your website for further details on accommodation or travel arrangements for example.

 

8. Venue Details: Is the venue a hotel with accommodation? It’s worth negotiating discounts for the wedding party and providing the contact number and details to your guests so that they can make their own arrangements. If you’re getting married in a church, consider any requirements the vicar/priest may have such as whether or not confetti is allowed. Will additional transport be needed between venues? Is there far to walk? Are there any disabilities to take into consideration and, if so, will access at the venue be an issue?

 

9. Gift Message: It’s always awkward asking for gifts. Most people don’t like to. But regardless, your guests will want to know what they should be giving you. Most guests like to give something so it’s worth thinking about in advance. Online gift lists at a chosen store can be a great option. Or perhaps you’ve already lived together for a while and have everything you need? Then you could ask for cash in the form of a donation towards a honeymoon or perhaps house renovations. It’s not unusual nowadays to ask for money. There are nice ways of asking including all sorts of poems. If you really do not want any gifts or money at all, consider asking for a donation to a chosen charity. From experience, telling guests you don’t want anything, just means you end up receiving unwanted gifts. Here are some ideas for gift messages.

 

10. Children: It can be wonderful to include children, but this isn’t for everyone. They can really add something to the occasion and make it a family event. But they can also cramp your style with screaming and tantrums and prevent their parents from enjoying themselves. Are you excluding children from your wedding? This is often a simple case of limited seating. Or perhaps you want your friends to be able to totally relax and let their hair down for the night? Do ensure you make this clear when inviting guests. Parents need time to sort out other arrangements for their cherubs. Be nice about it. There are many ways to politely exclude children and it’s worth looking online for ideas or asking your wedding stationer if they have any text you could use. There are always those who take offence if their little darlings aren’t included but it can be an expensive business as well as difficult to manage in many situations so ask them kindly to understand and respect your decision. Here are some ideas for politely including or excluding children.

 

11. ‘Plus One’ Options: Many an embarrassing situation could have been avoided if only the invitation had been clearer about who was and wasn’t invited! Use names for each invited person. Add a note about partners and children. Make it clear that only named guests are invited. If you’re not worried about how many turn up on the day, you needn’t worry but your guests will still need to be clear about what they are invited to. Are they invited to the church and the wedding breakfast or just the evening reception?

 

12. Menu Options: Many people choose their menu in advance and then allow their guests to choose from various options such as fish, meat, vegetarian etc. It would be wise to not get too worried about offering a wide variety of options. You can get too caught up in what Harry and Sally may or may not like. This is your wedding, not a meal at a restaurant that they are paying for. Keep it simple! Naturally, you’ll want to know if anybody has an allergy or is a vegan or vegetarian etc. Perhaps you might have a children’s menu too. But the more choices there are, the harder it will be to compile it all later and get it right on the day. Most caterers are happy to offer substitutes such as vegetarian or gluten free meals. That doesn’t mean you have to list every option on your menu. Choose what you would like to have on the day and consider only offering choices for the starters and main course. 3 options for each course is usually more than enough. We have had brides stressing over how to formulate their menu options and have seen as many as 10 different main courses on offer. It’s not necessary. This day is all about you and your nuptials. The meal is not the be all and end all! At the end of the day, it is just one meal!

 

13. Accommodation: It’s rare that all wedding guests live locally so you might wish to research the best accommodation in the area and provide details. Think about your guests’ needs and budgets and try to come up with a variety to choose from. Even if it’s just a tourist information website, any information will be helpful for busy guests having to travel from afar.

 

14. Taxi Companies: Lots of people require taxis to get them home at the end of the night or to their hotel or B&B. It can be extremely difficult to find a taxi if you haven’t pre-booked. Look up local companies, find out their policies, and provide this information to your guests. Encourage them to pre-book.

 

15. Travel: If you’re having a destination wedding, you may wish to include details of flights and other travel or accommodation information. Local customs can vary, and you may be far more familiar with them than your guests. Advice on anything from currency, vaccinations, travel to and from the airport, to tipping, and luggage, can all be helpful. You could point them to an existing website or even add the information onto your own wedding website.

 

16. Dress Code: Dress at weddings can vary wildly. It’s not unusual nowadays to see people wearing jeans at a wedding. However, this may not be your thing. Dressing up shows respect for the wedding party given the amount of time, effort and money that has gone into the planning. The bride and groom will be making sure they look their absolute best so why shouldn’t the guests? If you have a theme or dress code, be sure to let your guests know. If it’s an unfamiliar environment, such as a wedding abroad in the sun, be sure to provide a list of essentials. Should ladies consider ‘lawn friendly’ shoes? Are sun hats needed? Or perhaps gloves and hats depending on the climate.

 

17. Cash Bar, Cards & Vouchers: Is your bar all-inclusive or will there be a paid bar or a voucher system? Be sure to include these details for your guests so that they don’t find themselves unable to get a drink on the night. Will there be a collection in church? Again, many guests don’t think to keep a bit of cash handy for such an eventuality. You might consider giving a voucher for a free drink and then leaving guests to sort out their own drinks for the remainder of the evening. Drinks tend to be wasted when they are all free. Guests think twice before paying out for their drinks. If you need to watch your budget, this is a great way to save money. Ensure your guests understand exactly how it will work so that they know what to expect and can be prepared.

 

18. Directions & Maps: Some wedding venues can be hard to find. As well as providing details for a sat nav, it’s also good to provide more detailed directions with visual landmarks to help them find their way. Ensure you direct them to the parking and then provide further directions if they need to walk to the venue. If your guests are coming from afar, they may wish to stay on for a few days to explore the local area. It’s always helpful to provide tips on cheap flights and include local information of things to do and places to explore.

 

19. Parking & Public Transport: For those arriving by car, ensure they understand if and where they are able to leave cards overnight and how long for. Many venues allow parking overnight but require vehicles to be moved by a certain time the following day. If parking is difficult, you might consider bussing guests from a meeting point further away. Giving options for public transport and taxis is also useful. Include nearby railway and bus stations or the nearest airports. Those new to the area may find it difficult to find a reliable taxi company or the right bus. Providing a list of taxi firms with their telephone numbers is always a good idea. Most taxi companies require taxis to be booked in advance, so point this out.

 

20. Order of the Day/Timeline: It can be really useful to include a timeline to give your guests an idea of how the day will run. Alternatively, you could have some sort of timeline on display on the day of the wedding. So often guests mill around unsure of where to go and of what’s happening next. The bride and groom are likely to be busy greeting guests or having photographs taken. Having an Order of the Day up on a board of timings from everything from reception drinks to the sit-down meal and first dance right through to when the bride and groom depart, will be really helpful. This can be anything from a chalk board with handwritten timings to a printed poster or sign. Ensure it is placed in a prominent position where everyone will pass it.

 

21. Carriages: It may sound old fashioned, but it is important to let guests know when the evening will come to a close. ‘Carriages at midnight’ is quite common but will depend on the venue. Advise guests to make arrangements for getting home or to their overnight accommodation in advance.

 

22. Additional Information: Are you planning additional activities before or after the wedding? Many couples organise a get-together the day before or meet for breakfast the morning after. This is particularly the case when you’ve travelled abroad to celebrate. Be sure to include all the timings and details either on an information card or on your website. A phone number to use on the day in case of emergencies is also a nice idea. You don’t want the bride or groom’s phones to be ringing off the hook just because Uncle Edward is lost and can’t find the venue.

 

7 Frequently Asked Questions About Wedding Invitations including Why? When? and Who to?

 

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